I'm going to lose it any time now

I had these visions of writing a heartbreakingly eloquent post about my husband deploying next week. It was going to be one of those transparent, honest posts that reflected my sadness that he's leaving as well as my pride in the work he does.

With a video clip from the movie "We Were Soldiers."

But what it comes down to is that I'm Just. So. Sad.

I'm going to miss him so much. And I just want to sit and have a good cry.

But I don't want to burden him with all of my emotions when he has his own to deal with. He's going to miss another round of birthdays and our wedding anniversary. He already missed Luke learning how to crawl, walk and talk, and now he'll miss Audrey learning to do all those things. The other day he sat down with the kids to watch a special Elmo video made for the military. He cried got something manly stuck in his eye when Elmo's daddy had to go away for a long time.

So I need a good cry. And I'll probably need several more in the first few weeks of him being gone.

And another in the middle when I realize how long he still has left.

And another when he's almost home and I just can't wait that last month.

But until then I'm going to fight the temptation to avoid all this by sleeping as much as humanly possible and enjoy the family time we have left.