Isaac (part 12)

When I first met Isaac, I thought he had no personality.

I did think he was cute, though.

Over the next two years I discovered that he did, indeed have a personality, although he was quite shy.

But get some caffeine and sugar into that boy, and he was pretty fun.

My junior year of college I was committed to learning about God and developing my relationship with Him. I was dealing with the fallout of ending my two-year relationship with JT and was determined not to get involved with another guy.

I was in a Bible study about missions, having become interested in possibly being a summer missionary. I was also on a ministry team, which were teams of students who led Bible studies and worked with other students.

And Isaac was in both with me. He had been to an Eastern European country the summer before. And being around him made me realize that he was pretty good guy. He cared less for appearances and more for the truth, which said a lot to me at the time. And his mom had recently moved into the state, and he was working on trying to build a relationship with her, since she had been an alcoholic most of his life, which also said a lot about his character.

And one night at dinner with a friend, I casually mentioned that I thought he was a pretty good guy.

The Navy Ball is in November every year, and Isaac was ROTC in college. He needed a date, and decided he'd ask a friend from BSU.

Out of the girls he knew there, he had been spending the most time with me since we were both in some of the same activities. Plus, I was also friends with one of his roommates and had spent some time at their apartment in my effort to stay far, far away from mine.

So he asked me.

And that night was the first night I was afraid that JT would actually physically hurt me.

But I said yes because, really, I didn't need an excuse to go shopping and buy a new dress and do my make-up and have some fun.

I still love that aspect of the Navy Ball, 10 years later.

But the gossip started flying around us.

Did he like me? Was that why he'd asked me? Did I like him? Was it a date? Was it just friends?

The friend to whom I'd mentioned that Isaac was pretty cool, mentioned to one other girl that she thought maybe I liked Isaac. And it got around.

And one night I got a call from Isaac. He wanted to clarify that we were just friends. There was nothing more on his part. And I said that while I did think he was a great guy, I had no interest in dating anyone, so that was fine by me.

And I tried to play it off like I wasn't completely, utterly embarassed.

*Thanks to Leah for asking me about my husband in my Q&A!

If you give a girl a computer

If you get a wireless internet connection, your husband will want you to make it secure.

When you finally get around to it, it will probably be midnight.

You'll want some hot chocolate to give you strength.

With all your chocolate induced strength, you'll probably visit the Microsoft page.

If you read the Microsoft page at midnight you will get very confused.

You'll want some more hot chocolate to make you feel better.

After you've made more hot chocolate you'll visit many more web pages.

After visiting many more web pages, you'll remember that your new modem has a user's manual.

You'll read the user's manual.

You'll probably want some more hot chocolate to go with it.

The user's manual will direct you to the online settings.

You'll go online to change your settings and accidentally lock yourself out of your own network.

You'll try to change your settings only to realize that they're online, and you have locked yourself out of your network.

You'll probably curse and cry and get some more hot chocolate.

You might try to use someone else's unsecured network.

Then you'll use the reset button on the modem.

You'll probably lock yourself out of your network and have to reset the modem two or three more times.

And chances are, if you make your wireless network secure, you're going to need some hot chocolate so you can blog about it.

The End (part 11)

The biggest factor that led to the final break-up with JT was other girls.

But not all those other girls that he broke up with me for, or compared me to.

No, it was the Christian girls that I finally got to know. My sophomore year I asserted some independence (finally!) and stopped going to church in Hollywood, and continued going with some of the girls I had become friends with over the summer.

Really getting to know other Christian girls was instrumental in changing me and helping me to see that there was more to being a Christian than believing that there was a God, or just wanting to go to heaven.

They actually had a relationship with God. They read their Bibles and prayed regularly, and looked for ways to apply what they read to their lives. And they included me in their lives, whether it was going out to dinner or taking a roadtrip to a Christian conference.

And there were some things that they believed the Bible said were wrong. Things that JT had told me weren't wrong.

But I learned. And I read. And I believed.

And in the summer after my sophomore year I was at a conference and I realized.

My relationship with JT was not godly. And I wanted to be a godly person.

And so, for the first time, I broke up with him.

But me breaking up with him wasn't quite the end of things.

I thought it was great that we could remain friends, especially since I had been stupid enough to allow my roommate and her boyfriend to talk me into living next door to him.

We still spent quite a bit of time together, and what I didn't realize was that he just expected us to get back together. He really thought that we were going to get married after we graduated, and just thought of all those other girls as little adventures along the way. He had never noticed that while he had talked about marriage over the years, I hadn't.

And when he finally realized that it wasn't happening, then things got ugly.

His moods swung wildly. There were rages where he would curse and yell and slam doors and I'd be afraid he would actually hurt me. There were times he'd become suicidally depressed and be on his knees sobbing in front of me.

He even asked me to go to couples therapy with him.

Even though we were no longer a couple.

I lost weight because I would avoid my apartment, skipping meals and staying away for as long as I could.

And the thing that made him realize that we were really over wasn't me breaking up with him or kicking him out of my apartment, or any of those inconsequential things.

It was Isaac.

*This is part 11 in a series. Wow, I never meant it to get that long! It was about how I became a Christian. Now it has morphed into how I met my husband. I guess this could be part two of how I met him. Read my first impression of him here.

The realization (part 10)

My freshman year wasn't just the year I started dating JT, got broken up with by him, and then got back together with him.

It was also the year I became a Christian.

I just didn't know it at the time.

You might remember that I mentioned about 837 posts ago that I was a very literal child and prayed every night because my mommy told me to?

Well, sometime during spring that year I had a realization-

You only ask Jesus to be your Savior one time. You don't need to ask him every night.

And I thought God would probably enjoy it if I prayed something different, that really related to my life, and if I actually talked to Him, and didn't just recite the same words I had prayed over and over for at least 15 years.

I didn't really tell anyone about my realization because I was kind of embarassed that I hadn't really understood prayer for all those years. Plus since JT always wanted to leave the Baptist Student Union (BSU) meetings right after they were done, I wasn't really close to any other Chrstians but him.

But he went home for the summer. And since I lived fairly close to USC, I got to spend some time with people in BSU other than JT. It turned out that they went to church near my parents' house, and I started going with them. I had been going to church with JT during the school year.

We went to church in Hollywood.

Have I mentioned that he may have been a bit concerned with appearances?

And that maybe the appearance of being a good Christian boy was more important than actually being a good Christian boy?

Souptacular!

This is one of my favorite soups to make in winter! The colors make it very pretty which doesn't matter so much to my husband, he just likes the way it tastes.

White Bean Soup with Carrots

2 C dried white beans
1 T olive oil
1 large onion, sliced
6 cloves garlic, chopped
6 C vegetable stock
2 large carrots, sliced
1 T fresh sage (1/2 t dried)
1/8 t each salt and pepper

Boil beans 2 minutes, then remove from heat. Allow to soak for 1 hour or overnight. Drain and Rinse.

In 4qt pan, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion, garlic, and 2 T stock and sauté until onion is soft but not brown. Add carrots and sage and sauté 2 min more. Add beans and rest of stock and bring to a boil. Simmer partially covered 1 ½ hours or until beans are tender. For a thick soup, transfer 1 ½ C beans and veggies and ½ C liquid to food processor and puree until smooth. Return to soup and stir.

*You could also use chicken stock and add chicken if you want a soup with more protein!

The break-up(s) (part 9)

I don't remember what came first, the break-ups or the helpful comments on my appearance.

But I do know the first break-up was sometime during the spring semester of my freshman year.

It was my first broken heart, but I can't really remember why JT broke up with me. I remember there were lots of assurances that he really did love me.

And I don't remember why or when we got back together, but we did.

It was the start of a pattern. The outside world could never tell if we were broken up or together, and really, I don't think anyone knew how often he broke up with me. Off the top of my head I can remember four times over the course of my freshman and sophomore year. I know one time it was because he was going up north for an away game, and well, there was this other girl going to be there and he just needed to be free for nature to take its course.

Only nature didn't take its course, and we got back together at some point.

When we weren't broken up he liked to talk about getting married after we graduated. And he thought I was totally beautiful. Except, was I gaining the freshman 15? I wouldn't do that, would I? And there's this girl in one of his classes, she got all tanned over the weekend and was wearing a shirt that showed her stomach...maybe I was a little too pale, and I should start tanning? And this other girl in his class, she was really aggressive in the way she flirted with him, and maybe I should be more aggressive.

Yeah, can someone tell me why I didn't run screaming in the opposite direction? Because looking back, I don't know how I put up with it for so long, or why I let it make me insecure.

But I did.

The beginning of change (part 8)

By Christmas my freshman year, JT and I were an O-fficial couple.

I figured he hadn't really cheated on me at Thanksgiving, because we hadn't ever decided that we were an exclusive item or anything.

He bought me a Bible for my Christmas present. And I actually read it sometimes.

And we went to BSU (Baptist Student Union) meetings every week during Spring semester. He always wanted to leave right after, so I didn't get to know the other people there very well, but over time I did meet a lot of them.

I remember one night as we were headed out the door, someone stopped me and said, "Hey, Christy. Have you met Isaac?"

There was a guy leaning against the wall, his hat pulled low over his face.

He didn't really say anything. He kind of smiled a little at me.

I thought, "He's cute. Too bad he has no personality."

And then JT and I walked out the door together.


*Read parts one through seven here.