I just have to say

The past few days I have spent hours on the phone with [unnamed large satellite tv provider].

I signed up for them about a month ago as part of a new bundle offer in my area. So many lines and cables were destroyed in Katrina that all the utility bills here are shockingly high.

So I thought I'd save some money.

Even though I didn't really like [unnamed large satellite tv provider].

And now? A month later? After wasting hours and hours of my time, charging me $135 for my "free" service, and then not providing me with any networks except CBS? (And I love me some CSI, but lemmetellya there is no way I'm living without ABC and Pushing Daisies. And FOX and 24? If I have to miss it I will go into serious withdrawals and the resulting eye twitching will just be a hazard to everyone.).

I am canceling [unnamed large satellite tv provider].

They are dead to me.

Or at least they will be 7-10 business days after their billing dispute department receives my letter asking them to cancel the early cancellation fee that no one told me about.

After that?

Dead to me.