Over the hump

Three months.

We are half-way through deployment today, and getting ready to go to the big Over-The-Hump party.

I can't believe it's been three months.

A lifetime and a blink of the eye at the same time.

Chloe has learned to read.

Audrey has learned to sit up, crawl, wave and says several words. She doesn't look anything like the baby you left.

Luke puts his own shoes on, buckles himself into his carseat and says, "No! I not a baby!" when I call him that.

Walls are painted and pictures are hung in the first house we've owned.

How in the world have we done it? How have we managed without you for three months?

Three more.

A lifetime.

Hopefully a blink of the eye.

Navy Life

Navy life as a 23-year-old with no children: Flying off to Mazatlan for the weekend because the ship is docking for a few days. Greeting your husband at the dock wearing beautiful, flowing skirt, him in his crisp, white uniform, reminiscent of Top Gun.

Navy life as an almost-30-year-old with three kids: Getting all the kids into the car at night in the rain by yourself to go to the store to buy a plunger because you either don't have one or you still haven't unpacked it after four months. Getting home and realizing that you have no idea how to plunge a toilet.

I'm livin' the dream, people.

Livin' the dream.

I thought about making this my new tagline...

But I thought I might get some bad google searches...

I think I'm me again

So it's been a few days since I've burst into tears.

And while I'm definitely sad, especially in the evening when there is no one to hang out with, I feel more like myself again.

And I don't feel the need to beg my husband to please, please get out of the Navy and never ever leave me again.

Because I seriously was on the verge of doing just that a few days ago.

The truth is, there are a lot of benefits to his being in the Navy. The insurance is great, we get to travel and meet new friends all over the world, some day the retirement will be pretty good, I have a common bond with a lot of people that I wouldn't normally have a lot in common with...

But I think one of the most surprising things, to me, about having my husband in the Navy, is the depth of respect it has given me for him. I mean, of course I respected him enough to marry him. And I knew before we started dating that he would be in the Navy. He was ROTC in college when we met, and when we started dating it was with the understanding that I would need to be willing to marry someone in the military. And if I wasn't, then there was no reason for us to date.

But before you are married you can't possibly understand the full extent of the bond you develop, or what it means to be one.

Or that when your husband is gone, part of you is very much gone with him.

But I love him so much more, and respect him so much more, for the fact that he did not just serve his time to pay the military back for his education and then get out. He truly wants to serve. He volunteered to go to Afghanistan two years ago when the call came out. We didn't know at the time that they'd only give him 9 days notice that he'd be going, but I don't think that would have made a difference. He wanted to help in the effort to build hospitals and buildings, and roads that would provide access to previously inaccessible people.

And the thing that resonates most deeply with me, is that I know he would give his life if necessary. Not just by being in a dangerous place, but that if it was called for, he would be the one to give his life in order to save his men or others in danger.

And while I really hope and pray that that never happens, I am proud to be his wife.

John 15:13: Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

I can't stop crying

Ya'll, I don't want to do this.

I know I can. I know God created me to be a strong, pretty independent person, and that when relying on Him I can do anything.

But I don't want to.

And I can't stop crying.

Not Quite Alone

So my husband left today.


AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING.


Why, WHY does the military think this is a good idea? Because it's not hard enough to say goodbye, but you also have to get three small children up at O-dark-thirty when they are at their very best, of course.


I am now ready to spend a week in my pajamas in a dark house eating nothing but cookie dough and brownies from the pan and watching Food Network and reading shallow novels.


Or at least that's what I would do if I didn't have to, you know, feed and care for three children.


And work at VBS all next week.


Life goes on, I guess, even when I'd just rather sleep through the next six months.

I'm going to lose it any time now

I had these visions of writing a heartbreakingly eloquent post about my husband deploying next week. It was going to be one of those transparent, honest posts that reflected my sadness that he's leaving as well as my pride in the work he does.

With a video clip from the movie "We Were Soldiers."

But what it comes down to is that I'm Just. So. Sad.

I'm going to miss him so much. And I just want to sit and have a good cry.

But I don't want to burden him with all of my emotions when he has his own to deal with. He's going to miss another round of birthdays and our wedding anniversary. He already missed Luke learning how to crawl, walk and talk, and now he'll miss Audrey learning to do all those things. The other day he sat down with the kids to watch a special Elmo video made for the military. He cried got something manly stuck in his eye when Elmo's daddy had to go away for a long time.

So I need a good cry. And I'll probably need several more in the first few weeks of him being gone.

And another in the middle when I realize how long he still has left.

And another when he's almost home and I just can't wait that last month.

But until then I'm going to fight the temptation to avoid all this by sleeping as much as humanly possible and enjoy the family time we have left.

I completely forgot my husband

He had eye surgery.

He now watches movies about two feet from the tv screen.

I had to drive home from the airport at 1am in pouring rain without a relief for over two hours because he can't see all that well.

Apparently 50% of people have 20/20 vision or better within two weeks.

50% of the rest have it in one to three months.

The rest have it in about a year.

It pretty much sucks to be in the percentage who don't have clear vision within the first two weeks. We're really hoping he isn't in that bottom percentage for whom it takes a year.

But at least the pain is gone. It was pretty painful for about four days for him.

Why the Navy thinks this surgery is better than Lasik, I don't know.

The times, they are a-changing

So Isaac's job has changed again!

I tell ya, Navy life is a veritable rollercoaster o' fun!

He is still going to the same battalion, they haven't changed that. But his job in the battalion has changed.

He is now in charge of a detachment of guys in Japan. The good thing is that it's great for Isaac's career. God had to line up a lot of stuff to make this happen.

The bad thing is that they want him to be part of an advance party, which means they want us to move May 1, instead of May 18.

And that's just two weeks after we go househunting.

I've never bought a house before, but I'm thinking that's not quite enough time for things to close and whatnot.

So we're not exactly sure what God has in store for us, house-wise, but it will be interesting to find out!

Just a reminder, we leave Monday, and Isaac's surgery is on Tuesday. The Navy does something that is not LASIK, and starts with a P. I forget the name, but what I do remember is that it is extremely painful for about three days.

And all five of us will be staying in one hotel room while he recovers.

So, if you get a chance, please pray for us next week!

I'll let you know how things go when we have internet access, possibly from the hotel, but maybe not until we get back.

Hoo-Boy!

I just sent an email to friends and family, and I find myself a bit overwhelmed as I contempate the next three months of my life. Here it is:

1. We are still moving to {our new base}, but the battalion Isaac is assigned to has changed. He is now assigned to {a different battalion}, which means he will be deploying {in a few months}. We don't know the exact date or where he'll deploy, but it will be for about 6 months.

2. This means that we are checking out of here and moving on May 18, and then driving to {our new base}.

3. The Navy is also paying for Isaac to get his eyes fixed. He will have laser eye surgery on April 3, with follow-up appointments on April 4th and 6th. The whole family will be staying {near the hospital} during that time, and I don't know if we'll have email access.

4. We fly to {our new base} on April 8th for a househunting trip. We are planning on buying a house, and have until April 11th to find one.

So that means that in the next three months, my husband is having surgery, we'll look for and buy our new house, we'll make a major move almost half-way across the country, have almost enough time to unpack, and then my husband will deploy, leaving me in a new city with a 4.5-year-old, 2.5-year-old and 6 or 7-month-old.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle, right?

So I know I can do this.

But prayer is much appreciated.

Hey Ya'll

We've been told that we are going to a base in the south next May. We don't have any official orders yet, so of course that could change at any moment, since all's fair in love and PCS'ing.

(that would be Permanent Change of Station, or moving, for you civilian-types)

Part of me is really exited about the move- the timing is great, since our closest friends are all PCS'ing at about the same time. And I'm excited to experience a new part of the country.

But I am a California girl, born and bred.

I hate humidity.

In fact, I hate it so much, I should write I HATE HUMIDITY.

Not to mention the hurricanes. And that my husband will have to deploy during this tour, so I will be alone for 6 months at a time with three kids and hurricanes.

I mean, really, give me a good earthquake any day and I'm fine. In fact, I could even estimate the size on the Richter scale for ya.

But hurricanes scare me.

However, I fully believe that God is leading us through the Navy's orders, so my excitement outweighs the fear of hurricanes.

You just might be reading a whole lot more ya'lls next year.

Maybe even a bless your heart or two!

The Downside of Military Life

I think almost any military wife you meet will tell you that the hardest part of military life is constantly saying goodbye to our friends. Someone is always moving to a different part of the world, and there are no guarantees that we'll see each other again. Twice I've had my best friends move within a month of me giving birth, losing some of my greatest support.

But this is worse.

Much, much worse.

I had to find a new hair stylist.

I LOVED my last stylist. I could say "surprise me" and she'd do a beautiful job every time.

So when I moved here I looked around at all the moms I had met, and asked those with cuts that I really liked to give me a name. I wasn't even nervous.

Little did I know...

I went in and told my new stylist that I was tired of growing out my bangs and wanted to cut them, and to update my layers a bit. She seemed to know exactly what I wanted.

After she was done, there was just something off about the cut, but I figured once I had washed all the gunk out and styled my hair myself, then I'd like it.

So I washed it.

And I dried it.

And OH MY GOODNESS pass me a can of Aquanet because I have 80's bangs!

I spent enough of my youth torturing my bangs into a giant frothy wavy mass and then spraying them into submission while using enough aerosol to wipe out any ozone that had survived the previous day's shellacking.

I DON'T WANT 80'S HAIR!!!

I don't want skintight jeans, legwarmers, neon clothes, anything that tapers (and hence shows how wide my hips have gotten since the 80's). And I definitely do not want mile high bangs.

Please excuse me while I go use my non-aerosol, ozone-friendly, flexible hold hairspray to try and fix this problem.