It's Fall, Ya'll

****Comments are now closed****

The winners will be posted this evening!

And no, I didn't die of embarassment, as someone asked. But the sleep deprivation in this house has reached critical levels, and stringing together coherent sentences has become very hard and so I haven't posted much lately.

So instead of trying to come up with something to post about, I'm just going to give away some free stuff.

First, I am giving away a $10 Starbucks giftcard! Just think of all the caffeine that could buy...well, ok, it's not much, but still.

It's coffee.

And it's free.

I am also giving away a cute little photo frame. And I mean little! I think the picture it holds is about 1.5 inches. Here is what mine looks like, with my kids' Christmas photo from last year:

Only you get your own all wrapped up in bubble wrap and without my kids in it.

Just in case you wondered.

Anyway, leave a comment saying which prize you'd like to win and then head over to Bloggy Giveaways for more great prizes! And remember to leave me a link to your blog or your email address if you want to actually receive your prize. And this giveaway is only open to addresses in the US or Canada (that's to give you a chance to win, Ange!).

Happy fall, ya'll.

I'm going to take a nap now.

We take a break from our regularly scheduled caffeinated ramblings...

To bring you complete and utter mortification.

Today my cable company came out to see if they could re-hook my cable, which was partially disconnected by that unnamed large satelite tv provider henceforth known as the devil (and I signed a 2-year contract with the devil, ya'll).

The cable company said that they don't go into the attic or anything, but that their guy would check the cable box and see if they could just re-hook it there, otherwise the devil would have to do it.

So this afternoon a youngish, not unattractive man (Isaac if you're reading this, the only reason I mention that is because it makes my mortification that much worse. If you were a woman you'd understand this) so, a youngish, not unattractive man shows up at my door and looks at the cables and decides to go above and beyond the call of duty.

Literally.

He went up into the attic to see what he could see.

And what he saw were two foundational garments hanging on the doorknob that he had to unlock and open to get to the attic access through our laundry room.

And ya'll.

Ya'll.

I don't have small, discreet foundational garments.

So I did what any modest girl would do and pretended that it didn't happen, that they didn't exist and that he didn't see anything.

And then he went into my bedroom to check the outlets there.

My bedroom.

By now most of you know about my laundry habits while my husband is deployed.

So, needless to say, there were more foundational garments lying on the bed in all their not-small glory.

The bed which he had to get behind to reach the cable outlet.

I won't even mention the boudoir pictures on the wall that I had taken for my husband two years ago when he was in Afghanistan and I was skinny.

The ones of me in my foundational garments and little else.

The ones I would hide if I knew someone was going into my bedroom.

I really just might die of the mortification.

I just have to say

The past few days I have spent hours on the phone with [unnamed large satellite tv provider].

I signed up for them about a month ago as part of a new bundle offer in my area. So many lines and cables were destroyed in Katrina that all the utility bills here are shockingly high.

So I thought I'd save some money.

Even though I didn't really like [unnamed large satellite tv provider].

And now? A month later? After wasting hours and hours of my time, charging me $135 for my "free" service, and then not providing me with any networks except CBS? (And I love me some CSI, but lemmetellya there is no way I'm living without ABC and Pushing Daisies. And FOX and 24? If I have to miss it I will go into serious withdrawals and the resulting eye twitching will just be a hazard to everyone.).

I am canceling [unnamed large satellite tv provider].

They are dead to me.

Or at least they will be 7-10 business days after their billing dispute department receives my letter asking them to cancel the early cancellation fee that no one told me about.

After that?

Dead to me.

The birds and the bees and the lions and the crocodiles and the camels...

Today on the way to Michaels:

Chloe: Mom can we buy some pumpkins and Halloween decorations at Michaels?
Me: No, I think we're going to wait and just decorate for Christmas.
Chloe: Did God make pumpkins?
Me: (still feeling like a confident, knowledgeable mom) Yep! God made everything.
Luke: Did God make animals?
Me: Yes.
Luke: Did God make lions?
Chloe: How did God make people?
Me: Yes, He hade lions. And He made Adam out of dirt and He made Eve from Adam's rib.
Luke: Did God make Nile crocodiles?
Chloe: Did God make me?
Me: (getting just a little frazzled at this point by the questions all being asked at the same time while I am trapped in the car on the way to Michales) Yes, God made you and crocodiles.
Chloe: How did God make me?
Luke: Did God make camels?
Me: Yes He made camels and He made you as a baby in my tummy.
Luke: Did God make giraffes?
Chloe: How did He make me in your tummy?
Me: (getting a little frantic for a distraction at this point) Yes He made giraffes, and He took a little part of daddy and a little part of mommy and they grew into a baby in my tummy.
Luke: Did God make elephants?
Chloe: But HOW did I get in your tummy?
Me: (desperately) What kind of pumpkin should we get at Michaels?

An hour later, back in the car...

Luke: Did God make birds?
Chloe: When can we make our wreath? Where are we going to put our pumpkin? Are we going to put a face on our pumpkin? Can I help you make the wreath?
Luke: Did God make pumas?

At least one of them got distracted...

Did you notice?

Do you see it?

My countdown at the top of the page?

59 days.

Less than two months.

Maybe I should start actually putting away my laundry...

It may take the next two months.

My friend, the tv

I finished watching the entire Alias series on dvd several weeks ago, so I was relieved when the new season premieres started.

What else does a girl with a deployed husband and three kids have to do at night?

Ok, so dishes, laundry, vacuuming and unpacking all come to mind, but let's be honest.

Not gonna happen once the kids are finally in bed and quiet.

So I dvr'd a new series or eight and have been working my way through them. I'd watch them on actual tv, but this whole Central Time thing really throws me off.

Plus, I really like how fast the fast forward is when the commercials are dvr'd.

Anyway, I had high hopes that Bionic Woman would fill the Alias-shaped hole in my life, but Jamie Sommers just doesn't have the rockin pink hair and fantabulous clothes the way Sidney Bristow does. She does kick some serious booty, though, so I'm not giving up yet.

So I turned to Big Shots in the hopes that a series with Michael Vartan would fulfill me. While I was glad he seemed to be the only halfway decent character, I haven't gotten around to watching the second episode yet, and don't really feel drawn to.

And then came Pushing Daisies.

It is cute, quirky, original and I loved it.

And couldn't wait to watch the second episode.

And with clothes like these, how could you resist?

And while that last one lacks appropriate, er, foundational garments, I tried in vain to find a good picture of the dress with red flowers that Chuck wore in last week's episode "Dummy" and couldn't, so the um, unsupported dress with red flowers had to do.

And Olive's rendition of "Hopelessly Devoted" had me laughing out loud.

Her glass isn't only half-full, it overflows

Chloe about cheerleading practice today:

We ran and I was the very first one in! Welllllll. Actually, A was the very VERY first one, but I was the second very first one!

WW- Into Everything

The meme that almost wasn't

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...also known as 6 months ago when I still lived in Maryland, Bethany tagged me for Theme Songs: The Meme.

And I didn't do it.

However, four full days of driving gave me time to listen to all the songs on my ipod.

Multiple times.

The first day was great. The nappers napped peacefully, all the kids watched tv, no one fought, and mommy got to relax and listen to my own music and I lifted my voice and was praising the Lord in song, ya'll.

The other three days of driving I lifted my voice for slightly less holy reasons.

Anyway, all that time made me think of the meme, so here goes!

1. If you could pick your own theme song, what would it be?

Lead of Love by Caedmon's Call

Looking back at the road so far
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how you make good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery
Looking back you knowYou had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back I can finally see
How failures bring humility(I'd rather have wisdom and pain)
Brings me to my knees(Than be a comfortable old fool)
Helps me see my need for thee
Looking back you knowYou had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky now I see why
Had to walk the rocks
to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love

2. Now be honest…if others had to pick a song that described you, what would they choose?

I have no idea!!! Anyone have any thoughts for me?

3. What song would be/was the first dance at your wedding?

I'll Give by Smalltown Poets

Yesterday I lived for me
And I was so alone as I could be
Then I saw You and how You give Yourself away
And I want to live for You today
(chorus)I'll give; I'll hold nothing
I'll give and I'll hold nothing back
My love is a lot like me
Wanting nothing less than everything
But I know You're the only love that's true
And only giving makes makes me close to You
(chorus)I'll give; I'll hold nothing
I'll give and I'll hold nothing back
My hands are open, so take what You see
And I'll keep nothing, hold nothing back from me
(chorus)I'll give; I'll hold nothing
I'll give and I'll hold nothing back

And yes, in that song they are singing to God and not a person, but it's also the attitude we try to bring to our marriage.

4. What song gets stuck in your head most often?
Unfortunately for the last few years it has been the theme song to Dora the Explorer. It's painful.

5. What song would you want played at your funeral?

That's a hard one. I have a hard time choosing from It Is Well With My Soul, Better is One Day and Be Thou My Vision. I guess I'd let my husband pick since I wouldn't really care at that point. If my husband died I'd play That's What Soldiers Do by Monk and Neagle at his funeral.

Come and walk with me, my son
I need to share my heart
Tomorrow when the morning comes

I’m headed off to war
Take care of your mother
And your little brother, too
I’m praying that I’ll be home soon
So I can be with you
I know you’re only 10 years old
I know that you’re afraid

But I need you to be brave for me
And for the family
I know it’s hard to see me cry
But put your mind at ease
God is watching over us
So we can be at peace
With all my heart
I can’t wait to tuck you in
And sing a song to you
Son, stand strong
Love is the reason I would give myself for you
‘Cause that’s what soldiers do
Remember what I taught you now
About how to be a man
Talk with God throughout the day
He will help you stand
With faith to see, hope to believe
And love for everyone
Know that I’m so proud of you
And I will always love you, son
With all my heart
I want to take you to our favorite place
And catch a fish or two
Son, stand strong
Love is the reason I would give myself for you
‘Cause that’s what soldiers do
And as I go, I want you to know if I
Don’t make it home
You are gonna be alright
I’m telling you, son,

You’re gonna touch the sky
Don’t lose hope, just lift your eyes
We’ll be together again some day
So with all my heart
Hold on to Jesus, son
And He will lead you through
Son, stand strong
You may never go to war
But you’re a soldier, too
And when you have a son like you
Teach him to fight for what is true
‘Cause that’s what soldiers do

I won't tag anyone to do this, but if you decide to, leave me a comment so I can come check out your choices!

Blog Therapy

This post by DeeDee at It Coulda Been Worse cracked me up today. Plus, she expresses so well my feelings on blogging: it forces me to find humor in situations and days where it seems to be sadly lacking.

Also, my four year old is dancing around in her undies and a silk scarf and nothing else, being alternately a mermaid and a cat.

We just might be soul sisters, DeeDee and I.

Not that I've ever met her, or even, you know, commented on her blog.

But still.

There's definitely a connection.

We're home

We visited Joy. We arrived home yesterday. I will post pictures sometime after I clean all the Chick-fil-a containers and dvd's out of van.

Maybe sometime in early 2008.

But first, I will say this-

There is a sad lack of Starbucks between Mississippi and North Carolina.

Now, I'm off to relax and catch up on the new shows that I dvr'd while I was gone. Anyone watch Pushing Daisies? I'm about to!

It might not happen after all...

We had a day full of errands and are almost ready to go tomorrow. The clothes are set aside but not packed, new movies were bought, but I still need to set up the portable dvd in the car.

And then, just before bed...

The stinkiest, leakiest, loudest diaper ever.

On Audrey.

Just to clarify.

And half an hour later?

Another one.

And it just has that smell...that icky, I've got a stomach bug smell.

But she doesn't have a fever, so we'll see what the night brings!