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Friday, June 8, 2007

I'm going to lose it any time now

I had these visions of writing a heartbreakingly eloquent post about my husband deploying next week. It was going to be one of those transparent, honest posts that reflected my sadness that he's leaving as well as my pride in the work he does.

With a video clip from the movie "We Were Soldiers."

But what it comes down to is that I'm Just. So. Sad.

I'm going to miss him so much. And I just want to sit and have a good cry.

But I don't want to burden him with all of my emotions when he has his own to deal with. He's going to miss another round of birthdays and our wedding anniversary. He already missed Luke learning how to crawl, walk and talk, and now he'll miss Audrey learning to do all those things. The other day he sat down with the kids to watch a special Elmo video made for the military. He cried got something manly stuck in his eye when Elmo's daddy had to go away for a long time.

So I need a good cry. And I'll probably need several more in the first few weeks of him being gone.

And another in the middle when I realize how long he still has left.

And another when he's almost home and I just can't wait that last month.

But until then I'm going to fight the temptation to avoid all this by sleeping as much as humanly possible and enjoy the family time we have left.


Marsha said...

I am just one of many who are very thankful for your husband's service to our country. Thank you both for your sacrifices. I hope the time passes quickly for you both.

You will have to excuse me now as I must go wipe something very feminine out of my eye!

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Oh, Christy! You have me crying now!

I cannot even fathom the emotions you are experiencing right now. I say - cry it out, mama! Cry it out!

I join with Marsha and the millions of other Americans who are so incredibly thankful for the service of your husband, and also so moved by your family's sacrifice.

I think this post was honest and transparent beyond anything else you wanted to write.

Many hugs.

Cyndi said...

Wow, just wow. I loved this post, and think it is incredibly "heartbreakingly eloquent, "transparent," and "honest." Thanks for this glimpse into your heart. I am sad right along with you two and will be lifting you both up in prayer in the days, weeks and months ahead. My family is so grateful for your family's sacrificial service to our country. {{{hug}}}

The Small Scribbler said...

I just clicked the random button on my blog and I'm so glad I did! I'm sad for you too. Crying in fact. And praying for you.


Joy said...

Wish I could hug you and cry with you!

Ange & family said...

Hey. I've been out of blogland for a few weeks and was sad to know I'd missed a chance to be there for you during a hard few days. I know you're at the beginning of this deployment, but I remember the amazing ways you've gotten through the other times, with God's help, and I know you will again. Call to chat when you feel like it. Love you lots.

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

What a strong woman you are. I don't know how military wives do it. All I can say is "thank you" and I'll be praying for your family.